My background:
I have been born in
a Christian family & I knew Jesus as my personal Savior when I was 13
years old.
My family was
attending an anticharismatic church (I don't mean here as an
anticharismatic cult but against anti the anointing),
this church were speaking about the Holy Spirit, but when they see any
movement of Him they begin to reject Him by all of the power they have.
They taught a wrong teaching, as God is a sickness giver..., tongues are
not present, others said it's present but it's not important to speak
with tongues.
My life before the Infilling of the
precious Holy Spirit
:
I was so serious to
know God intimately but with such atmosphere of wrong teaching, you
can't know Him, but you will know another one whose name is Jesus too,
as the apostle Paul said "…another Jesus…".
I was serving God
fervently my heart was melting on souls & because of this fervency I was
counting the souls that I preached to them about Jesus, they were about
97 persons (Before the Infilling of the Holy Spirit), I was working by
personal evangelism, from them only 17-20 accepted the call and most of
them who accepted left the Christian life.
My relationship with God was so weak.
I lived a bad depressed life. Not because of my family but because I
didn't find the satisfaction that my inner man was wanting.
I read the New Testament 6 times & the Old Testament 4 times. Praying
daily, weeping before God to know Him more, to be effective in ministry
& to deliver me from the sin bondages.
God is
not responding to TEARS & CRYING but to FAITH. So there's no need to cry
for Him to answer me, but I did as they taught me... wrong teachings
which didn't bring results but worsened the state.
I asked many
ministers & pastors about my spiritual depression seeking to find a solution, and
by my heart I lived what they said to me, but no results .
My deep hunger
was still unsatisfied.
Because I lived a long time in this cycle, I began to suffer from
depression. I was crying till the Lacrimal glands (Tear glands) were in
pain, for crying was my lifestyle,
a thick deep failure
was covering my heart.
I seriously
decided to commit suicide about 2 times,
the Lord rescued me from that,
the precious Holy Spirit was giving me hope inside me, but the wrong
teaching choked Him (The wrong teaching that made me expect nothing from
God was that "God sometimes teach you something from sickness
& disease" How a dangerous teaching!!! It made me angry from God &
blaming God that He differentiates between people, I found that was
wrong after that & He is a GOOD God).
The Holy Spirit was
giving me hope & saying, "you will be used effectively & I need you"
.Because of failure I ignored His
voice.
From the things that
helped me was that a well known pastor prophesized on me, while I was in
my Mother's womb, that I'll be a man of God.
This encouraged me too much.
I
won't forget this specific prayer that I'm living its answer now:
"Father, I don't
like to be an ineffective minister like those who I sat with to take
their counsel & they didn't give me any right truth, they gave me
advices but not the Truth, I know they did their best.
But Father, I know your word is a practical word, even I didn't taste
its goodness till now, but I believe You never ask an impossible thing
from us.
I refuse to be
copy of those ministers for they made me in more failure,
change me to be the minister that You want not the people want or like,
but like what You want.
I don't like to see the people who are suffering from that teaching that
lacks of the wanted results."
I didn't know that
the answer was the Infilling of the Holy Spirit & knowing the right
teachings concerning healing,…. etc. .
In this period I was
diligent seeker, I decided to not surrender.
I read about 100 - 150 Christian book, my head was so full from
knowledge, but not THE TRUTH, for if it was the Truth it was
going to set me free (Produce the wanted Results that I searched for).
The
infilling of the
Holy
Spirit :
On June 2000, I met
a man of God called Apostle Stanley Ndovie from Malawi, in a conference
belong to my church.
When I saw him, I felt in my spirit that he has the solution of my case
& he knows the practical answers for my questions. He is different from
all of the ministers that I met.
I sat with him &
after I told him about my story of failure, I wept & I was amazed that
he began to cry with me, he felt the sour pain that I was in, and when
he began to answer, he taught about something that I didn't hear about
in my church it was " the Infilling of the Holy Spirit "
. He said, " this is your solution Ramez, to be filled
with the
Spirit "
All of that was
secretly because of our church leaders in the conference prevented him
to speak about any charismatic (Anointing) teaching.
He didn't pray
directly for me to be filled in the Holy Spirit, but before that he
prayed for me and spoke words of knowledge that no one knows about me,
he said things that were the cure for my depression disease, He said the
Lord is saying to you Ramez " Don't say about yourself that you are
not useful you are useful my son….."
I wept under his
hands.
No one knows those words, this was my lifestyle to say that about
myself, so it was a shock for me. And it was a PERMANENT solution for my
depression.
This is the true work of the Holy Spirit He always
bring results.
Also he said words
of Wisdom (Prophetic words for future) about my life that I'm living its
exact fulfillment now.
All of those words
of Knowledge & Wisdom, were sufficient to destroy the thick failure
around my life, the failure was destroyed by few words but those words
carrying a so condensed & thick anointing
that can be felt in the room, it was a charged room.
All of that prepared me receive the Infilling of the Holy Spirit,
when he prayed for me to be filled in the Spirit, I didn't feel any
physical thing, but I found a release inside me.
Something was so smooth like the velvet touch sensation which began to
increase gradually minute after minute till it overwhelmed me in a
gentle way. I didn't pray with tongues instantly not because it didn't
come but it was in me but I'm the one who must open his mouth & speak
not to wait for someone to move my tongues, the Holy Spirit doesn't
speak with tongues, but he give you the language to speak it as in Acts
2 they (not the Spirit) spoke with tongues, the
lack of teaching was the hindrance to open my mouth to speak, but the
tongues was in me.
The Apostle Stanley
didn't find time to teach me about that for he was praying for me
secretly & quickly.
But after that I found that I'm the one who shall speak by faith that
those words are from God, and waiting for the Spirit to move my tongue
is not right. So I began to open my mouth by faith that it's from God
not from me & not from the devilm for the Bible didn't warn us from that
but the Bible said in Luke 11:11 that if you asked something from God
you'll receive it exactly not another thing, so I wanted to speak with
tongues & I'll not speak with tongues, nothing else.
Because this prayer
was so secret in his personal room, so he was so quick to finish it, but
he said those words before I leave him which are still ringing inside
me, he said : " Ramez when you return to your home speak with
tongues…." . He repeated that 3 times & I left him.
After I left his
room, I was like the drunk in the Spirit, so I sat down to write down
the prophecy.
I returned to my
city with noticeable change that my family & my friends saw in me.
I began to pray for
hours without feeling that it's duty.
When I preached to
the sinners just with a few words I found that they cry & receive Jesus
without exerting any effort to convince them to receive Jesus. I just
speak & watch the Spirit moving, I spoke with about 30 person in the
period of June – September 2000, 29 person out of the 30 accepted Jesus
as their personal savior that was amazing.
After the Infilling
of
the Spirit, I found that the gifts of prophecy & word of knowledge began
to appear in my ministry, the gift of prophecy in 1Cor. 12 isn't
foretelling but Building the believers, while the ministry of Prophet
Eph. 4 is foretelling.
I began to find
fire & fervency inside me to build the believers more than sinners.
You'll know what the Lord is planning for you when you are filled with
the Spirit, many things will be clear.
The Infilling is the beginning of knowing God in the right way:
After that I
suffered with the wrong teaching that was in my church, they said to me
the Bible says, '' the Bible says in 1 Cor. 13, when the perfect
will come the tongues will be ceased and the Bible is the perfect,
and it's now with us, so tongues are ceased".
And because I was
ignorant of the word, I said to myself , "Okay, tongues are ceased &
I'll put the Bible above anybody even above Rev. Apostle Stanley. I'll
stop tongues because it's not biblical to speak with tongues."
N.B.: Certainly, I was wrong to decide this decision but
notice I 'm respecting the Bible over the persons. And that will help me
to know the right from wrong teaching by myself.
After that decision
I found the anointing decreasing gradually till I was going to loose
everything that the Lord has done with me.
So I remembered the
words of the Apostle Stanley "Ramez when you return to your home
speak with tongues".
I remembered also
the words knowledge that he said to me that no one knows about it on
this earth. This was the proof for me that he is man of God. It was like
a sign & wonder for me, that made me stay believing on this teaching
even when I was ignorant of word of God.
So I said to myself,
" surely I don't know the right explanation for 1Cor. 13 & I'll
search for it by myself no one will help me here, so I'll not ask any
one more, and I'll speak with tongues till I finalize its real meaning,
for I don't like to loose what the Lord has done with me & return again
to failure. I'll do like the Apostle's instructions to speak with
tongues."
After that decision
I opened my mouth again by faith and began to speak words by faith that
it's from God, as result the anointing began to increase again like the
day of the Infilling of the Spirit.
Tongues is a way to stir up what is in inside you - the Spirit of
God.
I was following my
inward being not my head, not the people's teachings. And this is the
way of success. Follow your human spirit and you'll never loose.
In my place when a
wrong teaching is prevailing, I have had to follow the anointing that's
inside, to tell me the Truth. And He did that, and still doing.
When I kept praying
with tongues an hour or two daily,
I discovered the right interpretation of 1 Cor. 13 in the Greek is
te,leioj
teleios
{tel'-i-os} which means: the
end of age, full & mature fruit ready for being taken.
That means when the believers will be perfect in heaven, there will be
no need for tongues.
So we are in more need for it now, for the same scripture 1 Cor. 13 it
says that with it(Tongues) & other gifts we see a fracture of God like a
reflected image on a mirror, so when we don't have this mirror (the
gifts) we don't see God at all.
Also there's a
difference between the Gift of speaking with tongues in 1 Cor. 12
which is not for all believers, and the Speaking with tongues in
1 Cor. 14 which is a language for prayer, given to all believers
when they are filled in the Holy Spirit.
Also I discovered
that it's for ALL not for some said to me. In verse 5 in 1 Cor. 14, I
want all of you to speak with tongues,
And also I discovered that the 120 in Acts 2 spoke with tongues, not 100
of them not 80 of them, and the 12 in Acts 19 spoke with tongues not 9
of them, so tongues are for all believers.
When I discovered
all of that, I became strong on my ground.
And I increased on
praying with tongues & praying Ephesians 1:17 – 23 for myself, (to
receive illumination & my spiritual eyes to be opened to understand His
word), I was imitating Rev. Kenneth E. Hagin who prayed this prayer 1000
times, I prayed it daily for about 10 or 11 months.
I still reap the
results of this prayer till this day. I encourage everybody to pray it
to know what's ours in Jesus the Anointed One.
Also I discovered that there's personal interpretation of tongues,
which is not always in the form of instant interpretations, but it can
come in the form of revelations of the right meaning of the scriptures,
or it can come in the form of a wisdom to solve certain problem with a
divine wisdom, interpretation of tongues may come after hours or days
after praying in the Spirit (with tongues) not instantly like the
church.
The apostle Paul
said that he prays with tongues more than the Corinthians and as the
Amplified Bible Says, '' I pray with tongues more than all of you PUT
TOGETHER",
and he was writing
under the anointing, so he wasn't exaggerating on that,
also he wasn't exaggerating when he used the unit of 10,000 words in a
strange tongues,this is his personal prayer life.
If he was praying with tongues in this abundance this means how
important it's. And I like to imitate this powerful anointed man
of God. So I pray with tongues not only an hour or to daily but I
developed a habit of praying always in the Spirit even after leaving my
room.
As result of that, I
discovered what's mine in the matter of healing, and I received healing
for my body from a bad sickness.
When I found that
the Infilling of the Holy Spirit is the solution for me, I began to
help others by this solution specially the youth & my friends.
I prayed for many
to be filled in the Spirit by putting, their lives began to change to
not become like before again,
the sin bondage is
destroyed,
people are healed,
their ministry
changed,
believers are built
& with that experience I taught them the word of God.
Plus tongues, some fell under the power of God, others laughed in the
Spirit. No one taught me that but I saw it in the Bible.
I joined RHEMA
Correspondence Bible School - RCBS (Rev. Kenneth E. Hagin)
which helped me to understand more of what's mine in Jesus. I finished
its diploma on October 2005. Joining RCBS was a result of praying with
tongues.
After my family saw
the change in my life, they asked me about it. I shared that with them.
Today, all of them are filled in the Spirit & speaking with tongues.
Although I was used
inside my Church secretly I was praying for many people to be filled
in the Spirit, the Lord began to lead me to leave my church & to go to
minister out of their cover, and he led me to buy this site :
www.lifechangingtruth.org . That is reaching many around the world,
the idea to buy it came to me while I was praying in the Spirit.
After leaving my
church by 6 months, they decided & declared to dismiss me because they
disagreed about my teaching "that God wants to heal everybody & He never
gives sickness to anybody." I was careful to not make any partitions
between them so I didn't share any teaching publicly but personally with
whom wants because I loved & respected my leaders even those who
aggressively opposed me.
Before being
filled I wasn't submissive to my leaders.
The Holy Spirit will teach you
how to be submissive to the leaders & how to love people.He will take
with your hands to teach you the Christian life, to be Christ-Like.
After I shared with
you my story, I encourage you to seek the Infilling of the Spirit of God.
I'm telling you, your life won't be the same like before. But
it'll be the same like Jesus.
After you experience it, you'll discover WHY Jesus cried in a loud
voice in John 7:37, if you are thirsty come & drink, & He was
speaking about the infilling of the Spirit for who believe in Him.
He cried due to
the importance of this experience.
In the book of Acts you'll find that the Apostles were preaching to the
unbelievers about Jesus as healer & deliverer.
And to the
believers, they preached about the Holy Spirit to be filled with His
Holy presence.
Whatever you see
or don't see believers around you taking care of this experience, go to
your Bible & don't measure the Bible on people but measure the people on
the Bible, you'll know that who oppose this experience aren't
entertaining what's theirs in Jesus.
If you are already
filled in the Holy Spirit, keep drinking from the
Spirit.
The Infilling is the first infilling, & you must refill yourself
daily by stirring Who is in you by: speaking with tongues daily & by
studying, hearing & practicing a healthy teaching from the Word of God
daily.
Dr.Ramez Refaat K. Ghabbour
www.LifeChangingTruth.org
